i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
