I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The air taste purple.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
