they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Randomize
