my shit smells like andre
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
