Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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