I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My life is pants optional.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
