No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
