so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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