Non-Jews are for practice
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
