i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You pole danced in your parka.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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