Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
