thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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