Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
