Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
