I got chris browned last night
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Houston, we have a squirter
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
