if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
do herpes really smell.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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