Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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