Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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