No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
