on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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