Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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