The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
