ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
