Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
