R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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