he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
