we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
