So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
