"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
