there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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