So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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