yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
