2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Randomize
