Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
