Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
