sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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