Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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