Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
