There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I had to cum in my sink.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
