so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
