this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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