I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
