How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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