Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
