Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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