Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
