When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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