Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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