so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
