you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
